Animal Radio® Show #460 September 27, 2008

Vicki Lawrence
O'Mama For President
Actress, comedian, singer Vicki Lawrence (Mama's Family - Carol Burnett Show) is running for President. She's also got senior dogs to match her 'senior' platform for Obama's running mate! Vicki is the guardian of two geriatric dogs, a Petit Basset Griffon Vendeen (PBGV) age 11 and a Black Labrador, age 14.

Decision 2008 Just Got a Whole Lot Easier
The 2008 race for president has seen diversity in its candidates like no other race in history. Enter a would-be candidate who takes diversity to a whole new level. The Character Vicki Lawrence made famous, Thelma Harper (otherwise known as "Mama") discusses why voters in 2008 deserve an aged yet fresh alternative.

From health care to homeland security, the hilarious Vicki Lawrence spells out Mama's platform in the new book, Mama for President Good Lord, Why Not (Thomas Nelson, May 2008).

It's clear that both blue-hair and redneck states have been waiting for someone they can relate to. And to prove just how serious she is, Thelma has been holding bake sales and $5 dollar-per-plate dinners at the Elk's Club for weeks to raise the money she'll need to make a run for the White House.

In Mama for President, Thelma asks the questions you won't hear the candidates ask. Things like:

Mama's Cabinet:
Yet another advantage of voting for Mama - voters will know who'll make up her Cabinet before she's elected.

Vladae, The "World Famous" Russian Dog Wizard

Are Cats And Dogs Friends Or Enemies?
Tune in as Vladae answers the age old question "Are cats and dogs friends or enemies?" and how you can help them get along.

Restoring Peace to a Two Dog Household
Vladae tries to restore peace in a household when one dog all of a sudden takes a dislike to another dog in the family.

What To Do When Your Dog, You Know, "Watches You"
Do you have one of those dogs who watches you when you are intimate with your spouse? Find out what one couple is going through during these special times.

Husband Doesn't Mind Dog Eating His Poop
A wife complains to Vladae about her dog eating his poop, but the husband doesn't mind ­ it means fewer poops for him to pick up!

Dr. Jill Answers Your Vet Questions

Should I Spay My Raccoon?
Dr. Jill tackles a not-so-common question from a guy who has an amorous raccoon and wants to know if having him neutered will "slow him down?" What do you think she will tell him?

My Cat Sheds in My Truck
Dr. Jill talks to a woman truck driver who takes her cat with her to work ­ how cool is that! But, what can she do about all of that hair?

My Elderly Cat Walks Around Howling
All of a sudden this woman's 18-year-old cat has started howling. Unfortunately our elderly animals can actually have a form of Alzheimers.

Vinnie Penn, Animal Radio's Resident Party Animal

Animal Communicators
Admittedly, I don't know much about animal communicators nor do I understand it. The dog whisperer, all of this whispering. I wish there was more whispering going on in my house. But to tell you the truth, when I do hear whispering in my house, I do get very suspicious, and not that a surprise party is going to be thrown for me.

These animal communicators, I don't necessarily understand how they study this or how they become an expert in this. I remember one time on my old radio show a female listener calling in and saying she had a new boyfriend whom her cat seemed to attack every time in the middle of the night. My of course immediate suggestion was that maybe he shouldn't be sleeping over so quickly. Come to think of it, she never called into the show again after that. Her belief was that the cat didn't like the boyfriend and she wanted to find out why, so she brought in an animal communicator who said that the cat was feeling envious, that he was infringing upon its turf, all of these things that anyone would have known out of the gate.

She, of course, had to pay a communicator to come in to help her figure that stuff out. I say, how do you know this guy wasn't one of those guys who thinks its funny to douse beer on the cat every time you leave the room? Guys are stupid like that, especially when they're dating. They think that kind of stuff is hysterical.

Furthermore, in the animal communicating thing when they find a cat or a dog calling one particular place in the house "their place" and staring blankly at a picture on the wall and they have something akin to a séance where they're like "they're looking at that photo, they're in touch with that person, maybe they've been reincarnated?" No ­ maybe you have mice, bugs, or they saw something go in there behind the picture and they're waiting to see it reemerge.

In any event, I don't want to kill an entire line of work, but an animal communicator to me doesn't seem all that different from that lady that you used to call on the phone, what was her name? You know, that Jamaican woman who was like, "Hello woman, you're going to find love in your life." Unless you're my sister, anyone is going to.

To bring someone in for $250 an hour to tell you, "Oh, your cat is marking their territory, that's why they keep going to the bathroom in that area." You can get that on Animal Planet, you can even Google that!

Animal Radio® News with Bobbie Hill

1st Case of Canine Influenza
The first confirmed case of canine influenza has been found in Illinois in a 4-year-old yellow lab named Buddy. The dog flu was identified back in 2004 in Florida racing greyhounds and has since spread to more than 20 states. Veterinarians caution dog owners not to be alarmed since "dog flu" is an infectious but treatable disease. Symptoms mimic those of kennel cough with lethargy and hacking cough. The condition affects dogs in close quarters suck as grooming facilities, day care centers and animal shelters. One vet in suburban Chicago said it would be a smart idea for dog owners who's animals exhibit any upper respiratory symptoms after spending time in a communal setting to have their dog tested for canine influenza.

Technology Helps Find Lost Pets
21st century technology is being used to help owners find their wayward pets. The Zoombak from Garmin GPS utilizes global positioning technology to track any pet equipped with the tracking device. The small tech device fits around the collar of pets and uses both cell phone tower transmitters as well as satellites to watch your pet. The technology will send an email alert to owners if their pet strays from a designated area. Prices for the high tech animal tracker range from 200 to 1000 dollars with a monthly monitoring fee of about 20 dollars and can be found at local electronic and pet stores as well as on the World Wide Web.

Nestle Purina Offers Pet Insurance
Pet food maker Purina is getting into the insurance game - pet insurance. Nestle Purina announced PurinaCare, pet insurance through the company's San Antonio office. Citing American's 9.8 billion dollar vet bill per year the company says it sees growth potential, especially since only 1 percent of pets in the U.S. currently have veterinary health insurance.

NEWS UPDATE Brought To You By Simple Solution Natural Line Of Products

Animal Minute With Britt Savage

Under the Influence ­ of Dog Drugs
Des Moines resident Clarence Fenton was recently charged with driving under the influence of drugs ­ his dog's drugs. He's still not exactly sure what happened. Authorities say the Phenobarbital that was in his bloodstream when he crashed into a utility pole with his car, had been prescribed by a vet.

Forty-seven-year old Fenton said he took what he thought were the doctor prescribed anti-depressants, when police reports showed that his car hit the pole. His blood work showed that Fenton had actually taken seizure control pills prescribed for his dog Saturn.

Officials with the Statewide Poison Control Center said the story is more common than you'd think. They have had three cases so this year, and that people often take their pet's heartworm medication. This would be a good time to remind you to read the labels of any medication you are taking!

Lyme Disease
Dr. Jim Humphries, Veterinary News Network
If you've ever seen a tick - especially if it is on you or your pet friend - you'll never forget it. Ticks can cause people and pets endless hours of suffering and potentially life-threatening disease. The tick is a little disease-carrying expert and there are many different kinds of ticks. Some are so small they are hard to see, others are visible from across the room. They emerge in the spring, remain pretty active during the summer months and then go through a burst of activity in the fall. While ticks are responsible for transmitting many diseases, there is one disease in particular that we veterinarians are most concerned with ­ Lyme disease.

Beauty Inspired by Beast
Brielle Morgan ­ Diary of a Human-Grade Literalist
As a single-and-searching girl, I'm always looking for ways to, er, get hotter. Personal strategies to date have involved lots of ball sports, flat irons, and sporadic bursts of quasi-exercise on the living room floor (i.e., twenty random push-ups fueled by lots of grunting). Despite these efforts, I find myself sans that "special someone." Where am I going wrong? Like many people in need of inspiration, I turn to my dog. When it comes to the ladies, Oliver is consistently confident in his approach and the chick-mutts seem to dig him. Observation leads me to believe that his shiny black, freshly-washed coat might have something to do with his success. Hmm. Human-grade dog products, you say? And, suddenly, I have a new tactic. If all these self-enhancing products can help Oliver to smell better, look better, score better, well, it's worth a shot.

Day One
Inspired by one of my gorgeous-haired coworker and her personal endorsement of Fuzzyard's Jojoba and Basil organic dog shampoo, I decided to work from the top down. Shea Pet's Green Tea & Sea Kelp shampoo appealed to me for its organic ingredients and the company's fair trade policies are a huge bonus. Post shampooing, my thick hair feels really light and smells date-ready. Am very pleased. I've even opted to pass on the flat iron as the Shea Butter conditioner worked really well. I'm frizz-free for a change. Next I dipped into Olly's stash of 100% Natural For Pets Invisible Boot, which protects paws from salt, ice, heat, and cold. Ooh, I like this stuff. Makes my hands feel really soft. Later, I'm introduced by a friend to a potential suitor. We shake hands and I'm almost positive he held on for a few seconds (note his meaningful departure from the standard two-second handshake). Perhaps there's something to this little project after all.

Day Two
Stepping out of the shower, I spritz on Sexy Beast's unisex canine cologne. The name in itself instills a ridiculous and rather primal sort of self-confidence. Moving on, I apply a coat of Colour Paw's Premium Pet Nail Polish in Tigerlily. Pretty! Though I do think Olly's black fur sets it off better than my glaring white skin. A few hours later I'm cruising the produce section of the local farmer's market. I spot a cute guy by the field tomatoes and summon the courage. He smells me coming-I can tell by the way he glances in the mirror over his shoulder-and, well, he doesn't scurry immediately over to the cucumbers so I'll take that as a positive. I grab a tomato, hold it up to my face and spin it just so: a bold invitation for him to check out my nails should he dare. He dares. I bail. There's always tomorrow.

Day Three
If ever there was a time for extremism, it's now. Nodding encouragingly to myself, I fasten the pink wig from Wiggles Wigs for Dogs to my brunette ponytail. A little flair can't hurt, right? A trip to the corner store teaches me that pink gets noticed. True, it's tough to tell whether the looks are incredulous or encouraging. Nonetheless, props go to Ruth Regina for creating a wig that's equally hot on a Pomeranian or a Canadian.

Day Four
Today a much-awaited accessory arrived from Pup-pup Designs. I take to the streets sporting a red collar personalized with four letters (O-L-L-Y) and a vintage dog head button that I popped into the collar's grommets. Instantly I'm getting second glances. On the bus, one 50-plus woman weighs in with "nice collar." Her blunt yet seemingly sincere comment spawns a casual conversation and, while she's nice and all, I can't quite see us spending Sunday mornings in bed together. Still, I'm smart enough to realize these ladies have nephews. Potential yet. Later on, I ask my beautiful, wonderful, understanding best friend if she wouldn't mind testing a product she's better equipped for. "Yeah, sure," she says. My next question: have you shaved lately? She cocks her (generous) eyebrow suspiciously and I pull out the Furminator. Regretfully I can't say how this awesome tool fares when challenged with human hair removal but I do encourage you to be gentle when combing sensitive areas. The Furminator, when wielded as groomer style weaponry, is effective-and sharp.

Day Five
A date! Well, sort of. The cute guy from down the block finally asked me out for post-work drinks. Before leaving the office, I pop into the washroom to freshen up. I spray a little Healing Dog's Sleeping Dog Spray, intended to create a calm, soothing space for your dog, and am happily overcome by a feeling of zen-like centeredness. Next, I rub a little bit of Sir Shadow's delicious-smelling Organic Coconut Oil behind my ear. Some people use this product as a canine supplement or hotspot treatment; I wear it with an aim to sexy up any would-be hugging. The evening starts out wonderfully: lots of meaningful eye contact and he even compliments my still frizz-free hair. The would-be hug even became an actuality-and, yes, it was lovely. Nevertheless, the end of the night saw me hoofing it home on my own. Humph. I blame the wig.

Okay, so I'm still single. But five days ago I was minus one seriously extended handshake and my hair couldn't flaunt fair-trade associations. There's something to this canine-inspired makeover and I'm going to keep it up. Wish me luck!

Interested in hosting your own dog/human makeover party? The following websites are a great place to start sourcing human-grade goodies:;;;;;;;;

Can you say bow wow?

Reprinted from Modern Dog Magazine. The fall issue of Modern Dog which contains Brielle's article is on stands now. Click here to subscribe to Modern Dog Magazine.

Rabies - A Threat To Pets and People
Dr. Jim Humphries, Veterinary News Network
Rabies is a disease we usually think of as having well under control with vaccinations. But the deadly disease seems to emerge each spring and summer as a problem. Rabies is a scary disease because it is fatal to both people and pets and every year we should look at keeping ourselves and our pets (both dogs and cats) safe. Rabies is also a highly regulated disease and all pet owners must follow the vaccination requirements to help keep this killer at bay. Vaccination rules vary according to where you live, so advice from your veterinarian is essential.

Animal Minute With Britt Savage

Lost Parrot Tells Rescuers His Address
When police rescued an African Parrot from a Tokyo rooftop, they had no idea where he came from. The parrot spent a night at the police station and then was transferred to a nearby veterinary hospital. According to the police, the parrot hadn't said a word, but a couple days into his stay at the vet, he suddenly said, "I'm Mr. Yosuke Nakamura." He then recited his full address and entertained the staff by singing some songs.

The police checked the address and Yosuke's very relieved family, who explained that they had been teaching the parrot his name and address for about two years, which sounds a lot more useful than "Polly want a cracker?"

International Animal News with Kaye Browne

Dog Survives Spin in Tornado
Wild weather across parts of the US has caused extensive damage ­ but also some extraordinary escapes ­ none more so than in the Richton Park area of Chicago where a 125 pound Rottweiler survived a spin in a tornado. Stunned neighbors watched as two funnels converged, smashing through a fence and picking up the Holmes family pet, Chase, spinning him round before dumping the pooch 200 hundred feet away in knee deep water. Owners Sidney and Sandra Holmes say Chase appears to be ok, although rather shaken ­ and both agree they'll never again leave him outside when a storm's forecast.

Undercover Police Catch Dogs Owners Who "Don't Clean Up"
In Britain ­ police are using covert measures to catch pet owners who don't clean up after their animals defecate. Wyre Council in Lancashire even goes so far having plain clothes police loiter in popular dog exercise areas because it says uniformed Police weren't catching any offenders. So far they've nabbed 15 people.

Venomous Toad Survives 40 Minutes in Dog's Stomach
One of Australia's most venomous creatures ­ a cane toad - has survived after spending 40 minutes inside a dog's stomach. The dog, called Bella accidentally swallowed the toad while gobbling down some leftover party foods. Vets feared the worst because dogs are known to have died within minutes of eating cane toads ­ however after giving Bella drugs to make her sick, the cane toad reappeared ­ apparently unscathed by its stomach acid bath ­ and apart from losing her lunch Bella also escaped unhurt.

Man Bitten By Snake Not a Tourist
Remember I told you last week about the man, bitten on the penis by a deadly snake? Well, turns out it wasn't a tourist visiting North Queensland, but rather a now very embarrassed local farmer. Daryl Zutt says he was convinced he was going to die after being attacked while making a roadside toilet stop ­ he even held a chilled can of rum and coke against the wound while he phoned his mother to say a final goodbye. Mr. Zutt said his buddy drove him to hospital where they learned the snake hadn't injected any venom ­ but in typical aussie style ­ Zutt's mates have been teasing him since ­ with comments like it was an unfair trouser snake fight ­ and that he'd scared the competition away!

Clothes do Maketh The Man
And lastly ­ it now appears clothes do maketh the man ­ so dress up boys. Researchers in the US discovered that using dye to turn the breast feathers of barn swallows bright red not only won the birds more mates ­ it also resulted in an increase in their testosterone levels. The research showed the colored birds got lucky with females more often than their paler counterparts ­ but they also got into more fights ­ which pushed their male hormones levels higher. Incidentally the mates of the more colorful birds also cheated less often with other male suitors prompting the researchers to suggest the same signals are seen in deer with the biggest antlers or birds with flashy tail feathers. Finally ­ they've found a good reason for blokes to overcome their fear of going shopping for clothes!
Listen to Current World News

True Story of an Undercover Wildlife Agent
Lucinda Delaney Schroeder ­ Hunt for Justice
For thirty years, Lucinda Delaney Schroeder held an unusual government position: she was one of the handfuls of women special agents with the U.S. Fish and Wildlife Service. Her job: to investigate crimes against wildlife. Unlike the majority of hunters who respects both their prey and the laws, evidence was piling up against an unscrupulous outfitter who was decimating populations of big game in Alaska.

In August 1992, she accepted an assignment that forever changed--and endangered-her life. She left her husband and seven-year-old daughter behind in Wisconsin and posed as a big-game hunter in order to infiltrate an international ring of poachers out to kill the biggest and best of that state's wildlife.

A Hunt for Justice recounts her dramatic story - a story she was not legally permitted to write about until her retirement in 2004. And what a fascinating story it is!

Sniff Out Spending By Pet Owners
Dr. Jim Humphries, Veterinary News Network
Americans spend billions of dollars each year on nutrition, health care and insurance, but not for themselves, for the wellbeing of their pets. The pet population continues to grow with more than 90 million dogs and 74 million cats and various birds, reptiles and fish taking up residence along with their human families. To be sure, more and more households consider pets to be part of the family, and retailers aren't wasting any time picking up on this opportunity. The humanization of pets is the single biggest trend driving our business.

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